No this isnt weightloss related, though I’ve stalled out with two weekends of partying, not to mention the super bowl.

The big interview is coming, and for some reason I’m both scared and excited. It’s ridiculous though, I’ve worked since I was 14, and I have interviewed countless times. Back when I previously tried the move to Jurisdiction X, I had a half dozen interviews or so in a matter of months, and could have worked for a real mill before i got the good solid offer. An interview became an informal conversation and I felt like I was in charge what with my 7 months experience.

My car is dying slowly. It’s paid off, but the AC died again, I just spend 600 fixing it in September. It’s cold as balls out but summer will be here soon enough, and I have 10K set aside for car replacement, and I started moving without thinking about the price of a replacement car, because hey, I’m going to get this job and clear 60K a year and get married and pull myself up into the mythical land of midlaw.

At some point I drove 2 hours to go see the car I wanted, blowing off a jiu jitsu class. It was an 08 dodge caliber, with literally 1100 miles, for 10.5K. It was all I could think of. Somewhere between point A and B I began to think about what I am doing. I save money religiously, a la Dave Ramsey. This shitlaw job I have could fall through at a moment’s notice. I could be on the street next week with just my dick in my hand and my money in the bank gaining a sweet 1.4 APY. As soon as I got to the dealership I was sweating the whole idea of buying a car. My little mitsubishi may have 130K on it but it still goes, kinda, and it gets me back and forth across the state to the various jails and courthouses. The decision was made for me though, when the motherfucking idiot who was going to sell me the car told me “oops someone didnt tell me they sent it to auction yesterday, but hey lets look at these oth” he didnt finish the sentence when I sullenly said “no thanks” and bailed out. Im not making an impulse buy like I was a 19 year old with a 2000 dollar credit card.

Then I noticed I had missed a job posting right in ground zero of where I’m moving in Jurisdiction X. I’m flying up Thursday for the 10am Friday interview. Surely I can get them to wedge me in, I’m eminently qualified and asking for beans compared to what established Juris X guys want, they’ll gladly make time for me! I dashed off my resume Sunday and made sure to reference my pending job interview, which would make me look more promising. Then Monday morning I called up the office manager who was in charge of rounding up the resumes.

“Hi I’m toiletlawyer, I sent in my resume this weekend, and I don’t normally do this but” and I proceeded to tell him about the wonderful opportunity to interview me Friday and save me a few bucks on flight costs.

The guy sounded as deadpan as Jackie Vernon on quaaludes. He didnt give a flying fuck about me, and thank God I only mentioned my name once as he likely forgot it.

“All the resumes were just printed, I’ll pass along your message.”

I hope to god he didnt. I hope he doesnt know me from Adam and doesn’t write a fucking thing down. At least that way I won’t have completely sunk the possibility of someone calling me. The odds of them calling me are already low, and I dont need someone picking my name out of the hat to throw out as being a pompous ass to think I could finegle an interview so quickly. In 08 I was able to kind of do this thing, but now, in the great recession, I can only imagine I’m just a fucking name, another PDF resume, another shitlawyer praying for the midlaw lifeboat to pull me out of mid 40’s and give me a chance to get ahead in life.

Anyways sorry to sound so down on this one, but I’m trying to even out my karma before this interview. Put in a lot of work hours, do some self flagellation, that kind of thing, in hopes for something to break my way. That I got this interview is such a rarity, I gotta pray hard and mind my cosmic p’s and q’s till friday.

4 Responses to “Getting big for my britches”