Congrats to Florida CoasTTTTal, But You Still Wont Find a Job
Jacksonville law students gain national respect in courtroom competitions
Florida Coastal School of Law beats Harvard in moot court contest
TTTT beats Harvard, still throat deep in debt with no job hopes
I normally don’t just grab a news link and roll with it, but I wanted to get this up here. TTT and TTTT schools love this moot court shit, because it’s their only chance to shine on the national stage. My TTT loved it, and frequently argued pointless, no-application-in-real-life, moot court competitions on international oil shelf law or some bullshit and did well at it.
But let’s ask a question. After you got done arguing about Madagascar graphite mining rights and beating some Kenendy from Haaahvid at moot court, what have you got? (16 tons what do you get, another day older and deeper in debt.) You get a shittly little trophy, a mention in the alumni newsletter (i drunkenly and vindictively used mine once to wipe my ass when I ran out of toilet paper) and oh yeah a useless TTTT degree, 175000 in debt, and little chance of landing a meaningful job paying more than 40K. Public Defender? State Attorney? Good luck. Those old catchalls for middle of the pack TTT also rans have largely closed up their doors for the perpetual great recession. Fuck, even one or two of those Kennedy Hahvard guys might have a hard time landing that sweet 6 figure gig they believed they were entitled to since they stopped pissing their own bedsheets.
Sorry to sound a little like L4L and the other law school scam guys, but Moot Court TTTT competitions are little more than circlejerks for the law school toilets to gild their brochures and sucker in more lemmings. Sure, some job adverts say “Moot Court and Trial Team Preferred” but they don’t mean the Upstairs El Paso Night Law School Moot Court who won the 7th annual International Arbitration Competition About Useless Bullshit No Corporation In Their Right Mind Will Hire A TTTT Grad To Litigate.
Sure you managed to get hitler off of his crimes against humanity against some bumbling Yalies. But even the most booze soaked, drug addled Yalie will get a fucking job somewhere in daddy’s boutique, secretary blowjob and 3 martini lunch office while you will be hawking the trophy from that competition at a pawn shop to cover ramen noodles another month while you hit ignore on your cell phone for the 14th call from Sallie Mae today, and hit refresh on craigslist jobs ads.
My entire application to the FC School of Law fit on a 4 X 6 post card. I jotted down my name, address, phone number, email, LSAT score, UGPA, and within a couple weeks, I received an acceptance and a scholarship offer. In their marketing materials, they mentioned that the dean had “argued before the Supreme Court before.” So what does that mean for future students? If we were to reach any court, it would be as a defendant in a student loan default proceeding.
“The school sent two teams to Harvard for an animal law competition that placed teams on either side of a theoretical argument about keeping a herd of wild horses on an occupied range.”
Somehow I don’t think this sort of thing comes up too often in practice.
I have plenty of shiny trophies and certificates with my name on them. I’m also writing this comment and my blog from parents’ guest bedroom – where I currently live.
All of these bottom feeder schools put a ton of effort into their MC and trial ad programs, so they can just boast about them on their websites. Somehow I think the Harvard kids will have the last laugh when they’re working in actual law offices while their Coastal colleagues are waxing poetic about their moot court victories to their co-workers at the Piggly Wiggly.
I will say moot court is a lot of fun, but is it $100k worth of fun? No, I think I would rather borrow that money to go to amusement parks and play golf instead.
I saw your other post. I guess I practice meconium law then. I may be a shitlawyer, but at least I don’t bite the hand that feeds me. Law school made me the person I am today.
I’ll respond in a new post, Mr. Greenfield. There are some drastic differences between law school, law students, job prospects, and debt comparing when you went and now.