This week, for the first time in my (short) career, I represented a client in court. A series of fortunate-for-me, unfortunate-for-others events placed me at the top of the “Available for Court” list on Wednesday. This was the first time since beginning at the office that I found myself in this position. I was like a pitcher in the bullpen, anxiously waiting for the call to come in. Finally, around noon, I was called upon to sit second chair on a motion for dismissal. Our client was rear-ended by an eighteen wheeler and the truck’s lessor was trying to escape litigation. I didn’t actually do anything; it was very exciting.

Also this week, in more important news, I discovered Wii Sports. While trying to find something to do after dinner on Monday, the SO and I came across the game. When I purchased the Wii (a few months ago) I negligently tossed Sports to the side, in favor of the unsatisfying $50 games that the Gamestop clerk talked me into buying. The SO and I have played Wii Tennis every day since, working in the other games when we get bored.

As strange as it may sound, Wii Sports has significantly helped our relationship. I think the revelation that she makes more as a waitress than I do as a lawyer affected me more than I cared to believe. There were more than a few times over the past week where I was, for no good reason, a complete asshole. Now, though, as Wii Tennis doubles champions, with me saving the day in our last three matches – I no longer find myself threatened by the prospect of dating someone who makes more than me. Things are good…

I had, probably, a dozen people ask me to do their taxes this year – most offering $100-500. I declined all but one; not because I’m under-qualified or couldn’t use the money, but because I don’t want the responsibility that would come with any potential error. Who did I not decline? My girlfriend – modern day chivalry.

Doing my girlfriend’s taxes came with an unfortunate realization though – she makes more money than me. My base salary is $18,000 and I get a sliding scale commission on the cases I sign up. Last year, from September 1 to December 31, I made about $17,000 pre-tax. Multiplying this over 12 months, I should make about $51,000 a year. She out earns me by a few thousand. I’m proud of her – and very jealous. I spent seven years of my life in college and law school, she has about one year’s worth of community college credits. She’s a bartender, I’m an attorney. She would kill me if she found this post.

I know what you are thinking – I must have some sort of superiority complex thanks to my lengthy education. That isn’t it. My girlfriend is very intelligent, I have little doubt that she could have made it through law school as well. My problem is with the seemingly low return on my investment. I spent seven years and over $200,000 on my higher education, and not only does she make more than me, but she gets to keep 100% of her take home pay. Sallie May gets 39% of my paycheck. It’s obvious which one of us represents intelligent half of our coupledom.

If this post comes off as whiny, that isn’t my intention. I’m actually pretty happy I went to law school and I love my girlfriend immensely. I’ve only been in the workforce for 6 months and, theoretically, I have a higher salary ceiling. I have enough money to pay my bills and I don’t hate my job. I guess I can’t ask for much more…

Each workday is virtually indistinguishable from the previous (or the next.)

1. I wake up around 5 and shower. Put on one of my four suits and eat a bowl of cereal. Occasionally I spend an hour+ watching whatever I have on the DVR.

2. I stumble into work between 6 and 8 and immediately check the overnight calls. Depending on how many associates beat me to the office, I normally have 2-4 solid leads and 2-4 dead-ends. Next, I grab a cup of coffee from the break room and head to my cubicle. Once seated, I read over any letter or memo sitting in my inbox. While I wait for 9:00 to come, I respond to any pertinent piece of mail (both snail and digital.)

3. At 9:00, I start making follow-up calls to the overnight potentials. My sales strategy is very situational. If the potential client is young (less than 30), I act like we are a monster firm and that I could care less if he wants to use us. If the potential client is old (greater than 30), I act very humble and appreciative. Sometimes a situation presents itself where I have to hard-sell and refuse to let the potential off the line without signing up. If I finish before noon, I follow up with potential clients from previous days that I couldn’t reach.

4. At noon, I go to a nearby cafe/sub shop for lunch. More often than not, I eat alone. It isn’t that I’m not friendly with the people in the office, I just prefer to eat by myself. I try to make it back by 12:45.

5. Back at the office, I check for any new potential clients and return any left message. Around 1, my boss calls me into his office to discuss the current status of “my clients” (potentials that I have signed up.) This discussion will last about an hour and is mostly focused on scheduling events that I do not get to attend (depositions, negotiations, court appearances.) Occasionally, if one of my cases has settled, we calculate my commission (2-6%.)

6. From 2-3:30, I call more potential clients. At 3:30, I turn in the day’s call sheet to the “call manager” who directs the senior attorneys accordingly.

7. From 3:30-5:30, I get to be an attorney. I have a special inbox where senior attorneys place ‘Assignment Memos.’ I don’t check the box until 3:30, to keep my mind clear while in “sales” mode. The tasks assigned by the memos include: prepare deposition questions based on case facts, review discovery documents and condense information into easy-to-read memos, prepare cookie-cutter court filings with our document generation software, and, my favorite, on-site investigation. If I get an investigation, I borrow a camera and head out to either the accident site or the junkyard for photographic evidence. I normally don’t return to the office if I get one of these assignments.

8. From 5:30-10:00, I relax at home with the girlfriend.

Rinse, Repeat. Monday through Friday.