7:00 AM

There was no occasion to be celebrated on the day yet Val woke me up with eggs and toast. I can’t even describe how awesome it made me feel. In fact it made me feel so great, I found the ring I have been storing in my closet for the past few months, and I proposed. She said yes, we made love, shared the last few pieces of bacon, and I headed to work.

9:00 AM

I don’t know what made me think that it would be a good idea to go to work. My mind was on my pending nuptials and not on signing up clients. The more I worked, the larger the knot in my stomach grew.

It wasn’t that I didn’t love Val, it was that I didn’t want to love Val. Less than five hours after I proposed, I was ready to break it off.

12:00 PM

I ate lunch alone (though I’m still hanging out with the douchebags). I felt incredibly stupid for proposing. In search of vindication, I stole an idea from my favorite Boy Meets World episode and made a [mental] pro/con list.

Pros	Cons
I love her	I don’t like her very much.
She finds me intelligent and charming.	She has no education.
She’s attractive.	But not that attractive.
She doesn’t expect me to be rich.	She doesn’t approve of my job.
	I’m attracted to other people.
	She isn’t very nice.
	She doesn’t have a career.

Too mean? I think it all stems from the first pro/con. In high school, I never understood the ‘love’ but not ‘like’ thing but I guess it’s just something that happens when you spend a ton of time with someone. I have lots of feelings for Val (love?), but I’m growing to dislike her. Those idiosyncrasies that seemed cute in the beginning are now irritating. Spending time with her is a chore.

4:00 PM

I said I had an optometrist appointment and left early. I rushed back to the apartment, hoping to find Val and discuss the situation. Fortunately, as I hadn’t really prepared for the talk, she wasn’t at home. I spent the next four hours crafting my un-proposal.

8:00 PM

I was wasting time on the internet when she walked in. She had been over at her parents’ showing them the ring (sigh). We talked for about an hour, it wasn’t hard convincing her that I was a loser and she deserved better, she gave me back the ring. I nearly stopped her as she walked out of the door but didn’t.

So I’m single again. It doesn’t feel as great as I thought it would.

Tags: Life

Posted on Wednesday, August 5th, 2009 at 4:35 pm . Filed under Life.
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